Hello Sir/Ma’am,
I have heard you’re the President of this country and have a lot powers in matters regarding the safety of all your citizens. Hence I am writing this petition to you because my life is in grave danger. Every successive day brings along new threats.
Let me introduce myself to you so that you are better equipped to understand the gravity of the matter. I am a house lizard and my name is inconsequential. What is relevant is that through my personal experiences, I speak for the millions like me around the world. I have been living in this house ever since I remember. I have adorned the walls of this house ever since childhood and was happy to feed on the insects and roaches in the vicinity. We were a happy family of three brothers and two sisters. Now, I am the only one left alive. Two bothers of mine lost their lives due to food poisoning because they ate up a roach that had been killed by a pest control spray. One of my sisters was killed by the same spray when it was sprayed all over her by this monstrous human. She died an agonizing and undignified death. I mean, killing the prey and predator with the same insecticide is shameful! It has shattered our respect and honour. My youngest brother was flushed away when he went to take a bath and drowned. I didn’t even have the chance to perform his last rites and give him a proper funeral and my youngest sister was shot dead, quite literally. In fact, the same adolescent human who shot my sister is now after my life, armed with a shotgun that fires plastic pellets. Maybe the humans can bear the impact of those pellets but we lizards are fragile creatures. We just resemble dinosaurs and alligators but we are neither as fierce nor as strong as them. In fact, I was under attack last evening and the human shot my tail off! I was supposed to take my girlfriend out to dinner in the loft since it has a marvelous supply of roaches and a variety of other insects but this incident put me through immense embarrassment because not just the other lizards, but even the roaches and flies were laughing at me, even while running for their lives! It was disgusting, to say the least. I do not know what harm I have caused to these humans. Maybe they do not realize that I am their most natural pest control agent with no side effects and my absence shall see the rise of the creepy crawlies in this house. My brown skin compliments the beige walls of this house and to strike up a friendship with humans, I also tired making attractive designs my contorting my body into various shapes, but to no avail. My food supply is dwindling rapidly and I am writing to you from behind the tube light holder where I have been hiding for the last two days. Please send the air force, army, paramilitary forces or whatever else is required to bail me out of here and save my life. Post that, I plan to sue these humans and will be highly obliged if you help me with a few references.
I am really looking forward to a positive response because anything else will be fatal for me.
Thanking you,
Yours sincerely,
The Little House Lizard.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
WE the PEOPLE
In a few moments of idleness today, I was sitting and thinking. Here is what I figured. It may not be a splendid read but might just make sense if you think over it and ponder for a few moments in your spare time, but spare time is a rare commodity and I shall not be least surprised if you find none in your busy schedule.
Throughout my life, I have often heard the elders talking about how our generation is way too different from them and how we have an entirely different perspective of looking at things. We all know that nothing happens without a reason and behind this seemingly different behavioural pattern too there is an array of reasons. Times have changed and so have we as humans. Whether we have truly progressed or regressed is debatable but here are a few things that might be the reason for us being the way we are!
We have seen and experienced a lot in these short spans of lives. To begin with, we belong to the generation that saw the turn of the millennium in their adolescence. Back in 1999, I hardly remember a person who I did not hear talking about Y2K, the year 2000. Almost everyone was talking about how the world would come to a standstill because computers wouldn’t work and things like that. It has been eight years since the turn of the millennium and nothing happened because the problems were taken care of. We belong to the generation that has seen the rise of wars and terrorism like no generation before us. From Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran to Kargil, there has been war everywhere! Terror strikes all across the globe have made us doubt the existence of humanity at times but in the race of everyday life, we have put all of it behind us. We watch the news and forget it. A lot of us are living in alien cities without our families and resort to social networking sites to keep in touch with who we call friends. I must confess that I am one of those myself and I have the time tested excuse “I have no time”. So today, saying hello to a friend means punching out a few words on the keyboard because that’s the easiest way out. We are probably a little more selfish than our predecessors but I think it is just the survival instinct coming into play. In this world, we have to live! We have seen messengers of humanity like Mother Teresa and others leave this world and that spreading fear is fast becoming the prerequisite to gaining respect. The differences between having sex and making love are fast disappearing and the idea of asking someone out for coffee is slowly losing its shelf life. Cigarette and dope sales are shooting through the roof in spite of the fact that we all understand what the flip side is. Are we then headed towards self destruction? No, not quite. I think it is just our way of combating the stress life subjects us to. In fact, the kids now growing up are probably having a harder time because the number of kids playing in a park on any given evening is dwindling rapidly. Looks like it will not be long before they go extinct and the idea of having a good time jumping around in the evening while getting all messy will be no more than a fable. Our lifestyle and we as people are undergoing a metamorphosis, thanks to the pressure that life subjects us to.
What then is the solution? Do we just sit and wait till doomsday to arrive? No. Though, I don’t want to make this sound like a moral science lecture because I don’t think I am qualified enough to deliver one by any parameter but maybe what we can do is sit for a while everyday and go over everything that happened. Maybe we can say hello to the people we really care about just once in a day to let them know that we are thinking of them. Maybe we can take a look at the old photographs and revive the memories entombed in them. There are a lot of things we can do. They need not be of epic proportions. They can be small things because sometimes small things make huge differences. Some people might have an excuse that they don’t have time but remember, nobody has the twenty fifth hour in the day and yet some manage to do all this. So does it mean they are more efficient than the ones who just crib about the lack of time? Think about it if you have a moment.
Adios.
Throughout my life, I have often heard the elders talking about how our generation is way too different from them and how we have an entirely different perspective of looking at things. We all know that nothing happens without a reason and behind this seemingly different behavioural pattern too there is an array of reasons. Times have changed and so have we as humans. Whether we have truly progressed or regressed is debatable but here are a few things that might be the reason for us being the way we are!
We have seen and experienced a lot in these short spans of lives. To begin with, we belong to the generation that saw the turn of the millennium in their adolescence. Back in 1999, I hardly remember a person who I did not hear talking about Y2K, the year 2000. Almost everyone was talking about how the world would come to a standstill because computers wouldn’t work and things like that. It has been eight years since the turn of the millennium and nothing happened because the problems were taken care of. We belong to the generation that has seen the rise of wars and terrorism like no generation before us. From Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran to Kargil, there has been war everywhere! Terror strikes all across the globe have made us doubt the existence of humanity at times but in the race of everyday life, we have put all of it behind us. We watch the news and forget it. A lot of us are living in alien cities without our families and resort to social networking sites to keep in touch with who we call friends. I must confess that I am one of those myself and I have the time tested excuse “I have no time”. So today, saying hello to a friend means punching out a few words on the keyboard because that’s the easiest way out. We are probably a little more selfish than our predecessors but I think it is just the survival instinct coming into play. In this world, we have to live! We have seen messengers of humanity like Mother Teresa and others leave this world and that spreading fear is fast becoming the prerequisite to gaining respect. The differences between having sex and making love are fast disappearing and the idea of asking someone out for coffee is slowly losing its shelf life. Cigarette and dope sales are shooting through the roof in spite of the fact that we all understand what the flip side is. Are we then headed towards self destruction? No, not quite. I think it is just our way of combating the stress life subjects us to. In fact, the kids now growing up are probably having a harder time because the number of kids playing in a park on any given evening is dwindling rapidly. Looks like it will not be long before they go extinct and the idea of having a good time jumping around in the evening while getting all messy will be no more than a fable. Our lifestyle and we as people are undergoing a metamorphosis, thanks to the pressure that life subjects us to.
What then is the solution? Do we just sit and wait till doomsday to arrive? No. Though, I don’t want to make this sound like a moral science lecture because I don’t think I am qualified enough to deliver one by any parameter but maybe what we can do is sit for a while everyday and go over everything that happened. Maybe we can say hello to the people we really care about just once in a day to let them know that we are thinking of them. Maybe we can take a look at the old photographs and revive the memories entombed in them. There are a lot of things we can do. They need not be of epic proportions. They can be small things because sometimes small things make huge differences. Some people might have an excuse that they don’t have time but remember, nobody has the twenty fifth hour in the day and yet some manage to do all this. So does it mean they are more efficient than the ones who just crib about the lack of time? Think about it if you have a moment.
Adios.
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